Let’s do something new! For for DnD at the movies. This time its Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.
My wife and I go to movies and see all the DnD that is in them. This one is DnD TASTIC!
TL;DR-Not bad/not great, its what most DnD games turn into.
Summary-Hansel and Gretel grow up and become witch hunters. They hunt a few witches, learn about themselves, we all laugh, we all cry…And go home.
Rating-3/5-Its a semiforgettable action movie full of anachronism. Some people hate that, some are ok. I spent most of the movie making fun that the characters could not pick a time period. Funny lines abound. An hour later you wont remember what happened Its ok for the money and at least worth a rental.
The DnD in the Movie-My wife and I spent our time identifying what spells the witches were casting at any given time. “Ok she just did produce flame…” House explodes “You’re wrong, it was fireball.” …..”Well she must be pretty powerful, she just hit that dude with a command spell too blow his own head off.” Even better the finally of the movie was that the characters find out how to cast Bless Weapon. Also a main hidden point of the movie is that the main characters have a permanent protection from evil spell cast upon them.
Stupidest moment-Hansel is diabetic. he wears a watch to remind himself to take in insulin. During the final fight, guess what goes off…. REALLY! You couldn’t set that thing an hour ahead to keep this shit from happening?! Second best-my wife and arguing in hushed tones over if Hansel was type one or type two diabetic.
Comeuppance to Ed-The movie is about hunting witches. I watched it and was openly mocking my wife because she is pagan and calls herself a witch. I was having a grand old time…then we meet the troll. He does some thing and ends up saving a main character. When asked why the troll saved someone, he replies in his gravelly voice “Trolls serve witches.” When asked his name, he replied, of course, “Edward” From then on, my wife could not saying that I serve her…. yep all fun and games until it comes back to bite you on the ass….
Throat Punch Games 
That’s what you get. Also, the phrase, “calls herself a witch” feels condescending. I prefer, “identifies as…” or simply “is.” I don’t say you “call yourself a Christian;” you just /are/ one.