Movie- The Lego Movie

tl;dr-  GO NOW!  WHY ARE YOU READING THIS! GO SEE THE MOVIE! 100%

 

Basics- This movie is stupid simple till it takes some amazing turns and become one of the most complex things I’ve seen in a long time.  The basic plot is Lord Business is planning to do “something” to the entire world with the Kragal.  Our hero finds the way to stop it, completely by accident, and now must quest to save the world across different Lego sets.  Along the way he meets an interesting cast of characters including Batman!  I’m keeping the plot vague because it’s best to just experience it!

 

Plot- The plot is amazingly simple till it shifts late in the movie to extreme nuanced.  It’s laugh out loud funny.  It tugs at your heart.  It’s just pure awesome! 5/5

 

Acting- The acting is top notch.  The characters alternate between believable to caricatures, but it’s done when they need to be.  Everything fits and the people make it happen.  Heck, the little random cameos even make the movie better than a random grab for attention 5/5

 

Visuals-  The world is made of Lego, literally.  Character takes a shower?  Little Lego clear single bits fall out on him.  Explosion?  Made of Lego fire and then Lego smoke.  It’s beautiful!  Some things are not made of Lego, but the reason they are is self explanatory.  Every scene is a new Lego play set.  It’s not a commercial so much as the director using the existing worlds Lego has built.  The look makes me think back to when I was 5 and played with different Lego play sets.  I was hit right in the childhood! 5/5

 

Summary-I want to see thing again.  I want to go see it again after that.  I want to see this so many times in a row I hate it.  I honestly don’t think that’s possible! 100%

 

I saw Robocop this weekend; let’s give this the rundown…  I’ll try to keep this spoiler free.

 

Movie: Robocop

tl;dr– its “ok”, it’s about the level of Robocop 2. 60%

 

 

Plot: It’s the basic Robocop plot.  A cop is killed, his body is used for a robot, man vs. machine drama, man rights his own murder, conniving corporation backstabbing, and end gun battle.  It’s kind of cliché at this point.  What was changed from the original really didn’t need to be changed.  The original was very much in your face with MORE stuff in the side of your vision to build the world.  This one feels like tunnel vision.  I don’t get the world building from the original.  Lot’s happens, but little really goes on.  Also what little subtlety the original had is completely gone.  That run on sentence above is the plot.  You won’t remember much more than that.  This movie doesn’t really trust that you will feel what the director wanted you to feel, so it BEATS you upside the head with the message.  So the move has all the marks of “eh” SCI-FI.  Also, WHY WAS THIS PG-13!?  2/5

 

Acting: It’s not bad.  The main actor Joel Kinnaman does a pretty good job as someone over his head.  The rest of the cast does a pretty good job.  You know who you have to hate (almost a little too much) from the get go.  Again, it’s a little too heavy handed. 3/5

 

Visuals:  The movie is pretty awesome when it comes to the visuals.  The movie is a popcorn movie and it shows with lot’s of fun moving parts that wiz by and look cool.  If you just want to watch a stupid movie where lots of stuff goes boom, this is the movie. 4/4

 

Summary-This is not a good movie and it’s not bad.  It’s ok.  It’s way too heavy handed.  It doesn’t have the world building of the original.  The fun extra bits that used to be in the old version are not there.  The movie likes to call back to things from the original, but it’s kind of like watching a sad parody on the SyFy.  You know what it is you wanted to watch, but you don’t quite get it.  This is worth a rental, but then when that’s done, you can go ahead and move on with your day.  When your kids ask to watch Robocop, this won’t be the movie you show them.  Not bad, not good, just ok like Robocop 2.  60%

Movie– The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Run Time – ~2h 40min

 

TL;DR– A not faithful, but good movie 85%

 

Basics–  It’s the sequel to The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.  This movie picks up where the other left off.  The heroes move through Mirkwood, are captured by elves, escape, journey through Laketown, and then encounter Smaug with a cliffhanger ending.  The move has some significant departure from the source material and adds quite a bit of connections to the Lord of the Rings.

 

Cinematography– This movie looks amazing.  I loved the look of almost everything.  Peter Jackson knows how to make a movie look amazing.  Smaug is beautiful and terrifying.  However, some of the special effects do look strange.  I don’t know what the heck happened to Legolas, but he looks like he fell down the uncanny valley a bit.  4.5/5

 

Acting– This is another top notch performance by the Hobbit crew.  What’s great is how every cast member gets some spotlight time.  Sure Gandalf gets more than the others, but in this version he is more about his behind the scenes work and connections to the Lord of the Rings stuff.  However, every character gets a chance to shine.  Heck even Bombur gets a chance to show how amazing he is when the group escapes Mirkwood along the river. 5/5

 

Story– The story here is a good one.  Peter Jackson and Tolkien tell an amazing, family friendly tale. 5/5

 

Tolkien Faithfulness– Here is where things fall apart.  The Hobbit by itself will not take you 9 hours to read.  Jackson has to pad lots of stuff into those 9 hours, and he also started to whole sale change things.  Lots of time is given to Gandalf so a stronger connection to the Lord of the Rings can be made.  However, the Hobbit never had that connection.  Laketown is a brimming riot with 99% undertones.  Beorn is crazy and doesn’t get his moment of deception.  Now there are new elves and orcs.  Lots are added, and while it feels Tolkien in tone, it’s not Tolkien at the same time.  This really upset my wife.  I enjoyed it, but know that this was not the story that Tolkien wrote.  The story is there, but if you are a purest then this is not the movie you wanted. 2.5/5

 

Summary-It’s not a bad movie.  I liked what I saw.  I loved the first one, but only liked this one.  I’m glad I saw it, but didn’t have the desire to see this again right away like I did the last one. 85%

I went to see Pacific Rim last Thursday.  Let’s see what I thought…..

 

TL;DR-GO SEE THIS NOW!  GO!  WHY ARE YOU STILL READING?!  GO!

 

Plot-This movie has a simple plot.  Let me spoil it for you.  Monsters show up, we built robots, fights ensue.  Now the robots are being shelved in favor of a giant wall.  The lone military man has a drastic plan to bring things to a climatic finish…  Wow, that’s original..but it works!  The whole thing seems way to simple on paper, but there it is.  And it does its story proud.  The movies about giant robots, and you get giant robots.  People on scene?  Talk about robots or monsters.  Every second drive the plot, and the plot is robots!  This is awesome.  You don’t get some weird “America #1” message, or hate OPEC, you get a streamlined plot dedicated to making you love giant robots and feel for the people caught in the monsters path.  This is what I wanted, and this is what I received.

 

Theme and Elements-In a bold move for a movie, the movie has some political elements mixed in, but only as at most a simple side quest in a giant movie.  Ideas like a giant wall to keep things out that ultimately don’t work, international collaboration etc are background noise in the movie.  Nothing that makes the movie jump the rails to a different path, but it’s there.  The major theme is-HERE IS AN ANIME MOVIE ABOUT ROBOTS AND MONSTERS!  All the set pieces are here and they do the dance that has been made famous in Japan quite well.  The stereotypes are there:  Russians who walked right out of Stalin Propaganda, the Asian kung-fu masters, romances between robot pilots, and interestingly enough an Australian pair who only missed a didgeridoo to be from the set of Mad Max.  Think of any 1980’s keiju anime series, and you have most of the elements of this movie.  That’s not bad, that what I wanted out of this.  This movie could have done something completely strange and tried to do what so many failed anime/American movie combos have been (looking at you Street Fighter and Dragon Ball Z, and you in the corner Matrix, I haven’t forgotten about you!).  Del Toro made the last 1/4 of a excellent anime series.  The first 3/4 is done in an excellent pre-title montage that handles thing well and jumps you right into the action.  While I love a convoluted story as much as the next guy, the original Super Mario Brothers was the last 1/4 of the story, and that made it great!  The same can be said here.  The movie knows what ground it wants to cover and it does it well.

 

The elephant in the room-Two quotes from two movies

“Today we are canceling the apocalypse!”-Pacific Rim

“On this our Independence Day!”-Independence Day

Combined-“Today we are canceling the apocalypse on this out Independence Day!”  reads like it belongs there, doesn’t it?  While I love this movie, it does feel like a strange homage to ID4.  That’s not bad, but it’s a thing.  The movie feels a bit like a distilled ID4 to capture all the good parts of the movie and make them better in this one.  Almost like distilling rotten water to make a good liquor.  You can feel the ID4 roots in this.  If you loved ID4, you will love this!

 

Cinematography and Looks-This movie is gorgeous!  The monsters are beautiful, and the mechs are beautiful.  Those are the focus and they shine.  The backgrounds are beautiful as well, but not distractingly so.  Actors look appropriate to the stereotypes they fill.  Best part that you might not notice: the helicopters!  They provide light.  You have night battles and they helicopters are a mobile light source that makes life that much better as you see what the hell is going on! (looking at you 1st AvP!)

 

Acting-  Let’s be honest, you’re not here to see Shakespeare, you’re here for robots!  But, in true Del Toro style, the part of the most that could have been neglected wasn’t.  The actors portray believable people in the world, and it makes the world that much more real.  No Oscars, but much better then it needed to be.

 

Let Downs-No movie is perfect, and a few logic things come to mind.  Why build the wall if monsters punch through it?  That isn’t really explained.  Why are the keiju a surprise if you know they come from one area?  Couldn’t you have teams out there 24-7 just ready to hit them when they happen?  Oceans big, but if there is only one door in, its not that hard!  Why is the one Australian such a dick at the start?  Why is the one scientist the first person to meld with a monster?  Heck, if I lived in that world, I’d be melding with any animal out there to see if it works!  These are small nitpicky things, but they make you wonder….

 

Things that you should look for like Waldo-

Russian Gwen Stefani

“Where is my shoe!”-Stay after the credits

Tentacles in a jar moving

Cthulhu Tech the movie!

Mi-Go

 

Final Thoughts-Its got its faults, but its awesome.  A worthy movie that you should go see now.  Worth the time and money.  Great new IP.  Now I just want to know if Del Toro will give up the mantel of this new world or remake this movie with enough sequels to kill the originality of the idea.  Rating: 8/10

Let’s do something new!  For for DnD at the movies.  This time its Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.

My wife and I go to movies and see all the DnD that is in them.  This one is DnD TASTIC!

TL;DR-Not bad/not great, its what most DnD games turn into.

Summary-Hansel and Gretel grow up and become witch hunters.  They hunt a few witches, learn about themselves, we all laugh, we all cry…And go home.

Rating-3/5-Its a semiforgettable action movie full of anachronism.  Some people hate that, some are ok.  I spent most of the movie making fun that the characters could not pick a time period.  Funny lines abound.  An hour later you wont remember what happened   Its ok for the money and at least worth a rental.

The DnD in the Movie-My wife and I spent our time identifying what spells the witches were casting at any given time.  “Ok she just did produce flame…”  House explodes  “You’re wrong, it was fireball.”  …..”Well she must be pretty powerful, she just hit that dude with a command spell too blow his own head off.”    Even better the finally of the movie was that the characters find out how to cast Bless Weapon.  Also a main hidden point of the movie is that the main characters have a permanent protection from evil spell cast upon them.

Stupidest moment-Hansel is diabetic.  he wears a watch to remind himself to take in insulin.  During the final fight, guess what goes off….  REALLY!  You couldn’t set that thing an hour ahead to keep this shit from happening?!  Second best-my wife and arguing in hushed tones over if Hansel was type one or type two diabetic.

Comeuppance to Ed-The movie is about hunting witches.  I watched it and was openly mocking my wife because she is pagan and calls herself a witch.  I was having a grand old time…then we meet the troll.  He does some thing and ends up saving a main character.  When asked why the troll saved someone, he replies in his gravelly voice “Trolls serve witches.”  When asked his name, he replied, of course, “Edward”  From then on, my wife could not saying that I serve her…. yep all fun and games until it comes back to bite you on the ass….